read with your ears
and perceive with your minds
Well, hello, friends. Let’s dive in, shall we?
1. Breathless officially has an audiobook and you can pre-order it now!
Here’s the link: Pre-Order from Podium/Audible
If you’re like me, you understand the absolute devastation of driving in your car without some kind of noise or chatter to occupy your very dopamine-seeking brain while you make your way from Point A to Point B.
So, if you order this audiobook, it’ll be like you and me, and the narrator, MK Blackwood, are all in the car together. Chattering away. Protecting you from the silence. Except no one can see you pick your nose!
And if you don’t feel like listening you can zone out. But you will feel like listening. Because you live for the suspense and thrill of the story. And the smut, you dirty little slut, you.
Allow my words (again, performed by MK Blackwood) to keep you company on solo walks, boring zoom meetings where you secretly wear headphones, and plane flights on work trips where you’re seated next to your most Republican colleague.
Or maybe just listen while you fall asleep, because we all know the most bone-crushingly loneliest time, is the time at night, lying alone in your bed, with nothing in your head but your relentless memories of every mistake you’ve ever made during tenth grade math class, desparately waiting for the darkness to take you away from it all.
2. Am I doing other things?
Yes, I am!
I’m learning all the rap lyrics to the song Clint Eastwood by The Gorillaz. Which is both VERY meaningful work for me and those around me (should a karoake opportunity present itself) and also a VERY TIMELY activity to participate in (it released in 2001 but time for me is nothing, cuz I’m counting no age).
I’m also eating A LOT of peaches lately. Like, a lot. Like I’m eating three to four of those bitches a day. And I’m not being metaphorical so get that filthy mind out of the gutter. I just really enjoy certain seasonal fruits. My fave thing to do is to make an enormous whipped cream dollop in a glass bowl and dip the peach into it AND NO THIS IS NOT METAPHORICAL I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
Okay, I’ve also decided to start doing the Artist’s Way again even though it’s really giving Evangelical. Like it’s so prescriptive and specific and weirdly dependent on the person believing in a higher power.
But sometimes, I just like to do things for fun to see what happens.
And SOMETIMES my very disparate ADHD brain likes a little structure put in place to rattle around in like a drunk ping pong ball. (Sometimes.) It doesn’t even matter if its good structure, it just matters that I haven’t done it before.
The novelty of the structure is what’s fun for me.
And when the novelty is gone…well, so am I, baby.
Let’s see what else do I have going on? OMG I almost forgot, what with all this talk about peaches and drunk ping pong balls. The Book That I Will Not Shut Up About That Nobody Has Read now has a new edition!
You can absolutely order A HARDCOVER of AIRPLANE GAMES NOW
Click the image to order I feel like this cover really gives slutty Carmen San Diego and I love that for all of us.
And finally, I almost don’t want to admit this because it’s actually pretty embarrassing, but I’ve been super into the Dress to Impress Lana Lore these past few days.
For those of you who don’t know, Dress to Impress is a game on Roblox, possibly created by literal children, played by millions of people around the world, including adults, where players dress up their little avatars based on an assigned theme and then walk a runway and vote on who executed the theme best.
I want to be so clear that I’ve never even played this game, but if you listen to the podcast, you’ve probably heard me say before that I like to watch gamers stream sometimes on Tiktok (usually it’s speedruns of Mario 64 because I love nostalgia but lately it’s been Dress to Impress).
Anyway, apparently, there is an NPI in Dress to Impress— Lana, the nail lady, who you go to to get your nails done— who has creepy secret rooms (something affectionately known as The Meat Room) and who also ends up locked in a cage in a secret basement that players can glitch into and who also might be in a cult. There are secret codes and evil doppelgangers and creepy meat-looking monsters hovering over pictures of Lana, and weird human (avatar) sacrifices, and other secret related game activities and players you can find through various clues and it’s all VERY DARK but only mildly noticeable during regular game play if you aren’t looking for it. So, Dress to Impress is actually, fundamentally, kind of a horror game at heart masquerading as a fashion game for the girlies.
And if you want to tell other people that I’m a 40 year old woman who’s into lore about a Roblox game she’s never played…no squealing, remember that it’s all in your head.
These newsletters are the best reads 😂